Friday, November 12, 2010
There have been some real ups and downs in the continuing development of my life and faith and combining the two harmoniously; but yet again, the undergoing realisations and events have lead me to learn, challenge and grow. I have noticed through my walk, choices that are made for me and of me, be it on a whim or consciously, results in being late, and generally getting myself in a real mess. But then, refocussing my attention to truth, and love through the word of Jesus, things click into place, and enriches the situations I find myself and others within.
I can't argue against it any-more.
To do so, given the evidential months, revealing events and general ongoing experiences, would require a larger leap faith or belief than to actually believe in the truth of Jesus, and live my life accordingly.
I have been blessed and shown some amazing strength through areas of my own weakness' and opportunities opening up within them. Over the next months, there is an option of moving onwards, to a new town and to drastically start over, in terms or organisation, location, possessions and focus of work. I need to decide by the end of November and moving in, by January.
I have had enough of letting my past dictate my actions and choices here, now and ongoing.
I have to move forward with that which I believe to be truth and my life needs to reflect these beliefs.
I need to learn to trust my changing eyes.
I am still feeling a calling to remain in and work within Southend, and the move would allow this, although being outside of Southend, it is probably a better location, coupled with being in a Christian household, creating immediate and focused accountability through my living environment, which I believe is needed in order for me to fully work out what it means to live more effectively, learning to love and share.
I've been after a 'drastic change' for some months now... seems I've got an opportunity to be practically, 'baptised' by location and living environments, lets see where I am wanted and what's given to me by the end of the month.
I believe all options and experiences are lessons for us to learn from, let us all trust in the process of our lives, love, learn and share, to further ourselves in the world and lives we've been gifted with. Let us have the eyes to see these lessons, and humility enough to let our hearts be changed by them for the better.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
The lack of updates has not been from having nothing to say, but more actually doing and acting upon things.
Perhaps it would be useful to list some events and experiences I’ve been through on my ongoing exploration and development since my last post at least, as best as I can.
- Interest and development in Longboarding as a FUNctional mode of transport, other than running or cycling.
- Ongoing work with the Southend Youth Service/Connexions and Summer programs, using movement/life work focused on fun and useful movement out within the community.
- More reading, various non-fiction subject and topics, mostly regarding constructive living, perspectives and world views.
- Nigeria trip with New Foundations, assisting in work and experiencing some of the issues faced to the people of remote areas of Nigeria. (SEE PICS HERE) >>
- Started a 2 month trial of Veganism.
- Finishing up some Parkour coaching projects in Benfleet at Legacy XS.
- Researching volunteering options/projects all over the country.
- Joined a few people who go out into Southend on Tuesday nights, to be with the hungry, homeless and those in need of assistance one way or another.
- Work and volunteering at a few festivals.
- Southend YMCA taking me on a working as a Youth Worker for various projects. 3 Week long film projects through Southend, Hullbridge and Rayleigh.
- Camping with friends in the Peak District. >>
- Coaching Parkour at Soul Survivor Week C. >>
- Lots of planning for work at the Youth Centres across Southend.
- Started a new job with the YMCA as Southchurch College as a learning support worker.
And…. as of Friday I will be starting my PTLLS course, which is, effectively an intensive course with teaching methods etc.
I really didn’t feel like I’ve been up to much sometimes but it’s nice seeing it listed there. Good for recording it in a visual way.
So, last post was a mixture of frustration and motivation, and from it, if I’m honest, things went well but then through ups and downs, as vague as that expression is.
Regardless, over the last few weeks, I’ve been feeling a lot more on top of things, resulting from having enough of the way things are (yet again) and living what I know and believe to be real, good and true.
Once again, this [life] is a large area, but the search for truth has lead to me feeling happier with where I am, what I’m doing and my place within it. I feel like I am impacting upon some of the negativity present around our local areas, and somehow, it’s resulted in paid work, a happy, honest, working relationship, motivation for work and having the confidence and drive to be the change we need in our spaces. The money being earned is mostly going back into certain community programs and ideas to help others join in within helping those around us, love and share with one another..(not that money is needed for it, but it can help)
Ongoing goals include moving into a house with 3 or 4 others who have a passion for serving Southend, living love through sharing between ourselves and spreading that out around us. This would mean I’m nearer to work and the friends I have made; nearer to a town that’s given me so much and is in desperate need.
In Reflection: After re-reading my last blog post, I think my search has been making progress… I mean, it’s taken me to a ‘mad’ part of the world, and put me in contact with some amazing people, I just thought it would turn out differently, maybe more Parkour related or something etc, but, nonetheless, work ethic has improved and things are moving forward and opportunities have been presenting themselves in areas I believe in.
The main aim over this period of change and challenge has just been to curb the poor behaviours that can and may lead harm to myself and others. To DO what needs to be done, whatever it takes in order to live as one should, blessing others with gifts we all too often overlook or miss out altogether in our “business” of daily life. As mentioned in the previous post, this has come from the search for truth, what it is, and how to live it.
- Through the way I’ve trained through Parkour, I look at problems and attempt to work out solutions. This lead to me seeing the problems around, I believe, stemming from our behaviours and in turn, actions, interwoven with pessimism, hopelessness, apathy, deceit, and fear.
These things I believe to be reasons for our poor choices which lead to negative issues for ourselves and for others. So I am avoiding these things, they have no place in my life. Yes I may and will slip up in areas, but by MY choices, I am working on it, and I must improve. Our poor choices lead and impact others, good choices, minimize these risks.
The last few weeks have been an eye opener, certain challenges in my behaviour and actions have been easier that I would have thought and lead to an increase in knowledge or instinct of what needs to be done in certain situations. I’ve just been putting faith in the process of life and hoping it’ll all shape up one way or another.
I’m done for now, just needed to update, hopefully there was something useful for you this time round. I need to admit some hypocrisy of late; some advice I’d given that I hadn’t taken myself. I recomended to a few friends to post up and share their ongoing thoughts, tracking their development and to allow for others who share in their story, for the reader to gain experience and show that we all struggle. Helping one another move towards the goodness we all long for. I’m sorry for this, and I will do my best to rectify this.
Had this thought earlier in relation to Parkour and life…
- As the practice gifts us worldly things, it results in the world impacting us and our take on something transcendent; making us selfish over giving; complacent instead of sensitive to the true needs of the environments and importantly the people within it. The practice should allow us to impact everything else, not just for it to change us.
Now I'm in better work patterns, I should be able to fit more training and exercise back in, which I’m looking forward to, especially as the challenge of winter approaches.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
What a great film!?? (In case you don't know, the quote is from all time awesomest film trilogy, "Back to the Future")
I once again wish to express, I do not consider, nor do I claim to know and have all the answers to everything in life and world, I’m still figuring so much out, myself! However, my experiences have and do appeal to, and help others, so in the words of a favourite author, “life and it’s lessons are only made useful if shared”, so again I wish to share with you, my brothers and sisters.
Awareness and Attention
Why do I need to pay attention to what is happening??
Why do I hide from problems by avoidance or covering them up with other problems?Why's it so hard?Why do I give up and let the bad things consume me and long only for the 'good things'?
- Because we are afraid, tired, faithless and weak (not just physically).
- Often, we are equally afraid of failure, and afraid of success.
- We actively resist change.
“Most people live, whether physically, intellectually, or morally, in a very restricted circle of their being. They make use of a very small portion of their possible consciousness, and of their soul's resources in general, much like a man who, out of his whole bodily organism, should get into the habit of using and moving only his little finger. Great emergencies and crises show us how much greater our vital resources are than we had supposed.”
“He knows not his own strength that hath not met adversity”
Some of the more challenging obstacles in life such as death and loss are not easy things to deal with, I know, and I am not saying don't grieve or pretend it didn't happen, but acceptance of what it is, for what it is, is the first step to overcoming. Resisting change will only prolong the pain and difficulty, we must develop courage to push through.
Use your own experiences in testing this one… Who wanted to do work when they were at school? Very few I’m sure, but looking back I’m sure you wish you’d have done so, or could go back and try harder etc..? Why aren’t we applying that same lesson to every part of our lives?
Lets bring this back to a real life situation...one I experienced at the weekend.
Situation: (I felt God needing me and me needing to ask God to guide me in a gap that needs to be filled at my cousin’s wedding). After discussing faith with my aunt as she decided to ask about it all to which I did openly and honestly (Steps one and two). I then felt the need to head outside for some air. There was a group of young people out drinking and throwing glass bottles around so I decided to walk and head in their general direction. I was listening and working out if I should talk to them or not (Steps one and two), when I remembered a quote by Martin Luther King Jr,
"You are not only responsible for what you say, but also for what you do not say."
So to recap, how do we have a happier 2010?
1. Attention: Look at what's happening, take it in, the good and the bad, write it down if needs be.
2. Be realistic: See issues for what they are, we need to knock down the fake walls around the issue and see what the real problem is.
3. Action: Do something about it when you feel ready, if you are not, make small steps/goals to achieve each day, working to overcome the issue, and eventually you'll get there.